Scared little boy whines about fear of dying in fiery plane crash
6:03pm
Flying to New York City tomorrow. Love New York. Hate the planes. Need to learn love for all things, planes included. Doing okay with learning to love extremely closed-minded, stubborn, mean, vindictive, stupid people. Not doing so okay on loving planes. Must focus on crew of plane as surely must be someone on crew who is extremely closed-minded, stubborn, mean, vindictive, or stupid who I can love. Will start with crew. Yes.
6:08pm
Wondering if extremely closed-minded, stubborn, mean, vindictive, stupid crew member will really be okay to operate multi-ton airliner. Fears not abating. Feeling the love for the person
behind the job which will lead to my death in fiery crash, but not so loving idea of dying in fiery crash. Must focus harder.
6:12pm
Make call to dad to seek guidance about plane problems. Leave message on machine saying I'm interested in knowing great places to eat in NYC, knowing dad will be fooled into calling me back quickly and can blindside him with irrational fear of dying in fiery plane crash. Waiting for call back.
6:29pm
Still no call back from dad. Must be something wrong as has been 17 minutes and no call. Considering calling 911--maybe they'll know about planes.
6:37pm
Eight minutes later still no call. Tried to distract self with packing but seems meaningless as will be dying in fiery crash and all will be incinerated. Seems a waste to incinerate best clothes in fiery crash.
6:38pm
Reconsidering packing option. Must consider possbility of being found partially incinerated in crash wreckage and don't want to be found dead in bad clothes.
6:43pm
Still no call from dad.
6:45pm
Still no call from dad. Phone still working.
6:47pm
What the
HELL! Come on Dad! This is important--oh, phone ringing...
7:29pm
Dad doesn't fall for phony line of NYC restaurant questions. I tell him about plane hatred. He says I must learn to love all things. I say I know. Even planes, he says. I know, I say. He tells me to think of plane as riding bus. This doesn't help as very large metal bus has as much business flying at 25000 feet as very large metal plane. I tell him planes are the bumblebees of transportation world, not supposed to be able to do that, freaks of nature, and so on. He says but bumblebees fly. But they're not supposed to, I say. But they do, he says, and they hardly ever crash. Bees, I ask? No planes, he says. Oh, I say. Still am not comforted. Dad is rational, quotes very low statistics of dying in fiery crash. Tells me all will be fine and to bring Miles Davis CDs and chill. I tell dad I will do that and hang up, even though would never take Miles Davis CDs as do not want them to be incinerated in fiery crash. Feel bad about lying to dad. Dad too rational anyway, need over-emotional person to whine to. Will call mom.
7:43pm
Call mom. Tell her of plane problems. She says she's watching
Cedric The Entertainer and can she call me back. I say okay. Mom no help.
7:44pm
Call brother Adam. Tell him of plane problems. He laughs and hangs up without saying anything. Am going to die charred with strangers in stratosphere and none of my family members care.
7:58pm
Nothing happening. There are 31 slats on venetian blinds on window in room.
8:05pm
Eighties show just came on radio. Playing Rick Springfield's "Human Touch." Am getting choked up. Need to get a life.
10:53pm
Have been on bed listening to eighties show all night and have barely thought about dying in fiery crash. Starting to love planes a little. Just heard Starship's "We Built This City." Loving Starship. Starship not unlike plane. Thinking all is going to be okay. If I die will be wearing favorite shirt and clean underwear. Good start. Must pack....
posted by Josh at 12:10:00 AM
